We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Umm I'm too high to move.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize