We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
