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She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We talked him into tasing himself.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
