i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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