I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
