end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
