i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
