I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
