I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
