No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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