Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
