you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
