biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
