Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
