I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Damn victory sex feels great
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
