the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
