everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
