The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
