Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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