Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
