i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
