Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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