Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
