and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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