Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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