you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
