Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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