Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
