i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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