i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
