sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
