You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
