just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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