Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i wish my penis had a tongue
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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