We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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