Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
