i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
