Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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