She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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