she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize