so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
