so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
