but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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