Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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