The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
