There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize