I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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