Having a random hookup so left but love u
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Randomize