Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
