Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize