I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
