What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
should my penis look like a turkey
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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