Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
