I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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