I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
you never un-have a 4some
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
