omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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