Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
