she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
