wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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