I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
