Is it normal to miss your booty call?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
