A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
