while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
